…just as every human needed to return to the unconscious night after
living through yet another day.
Would this nightly experience, were it not unconscious, also be
one of togetherness, overcoming separation? From the few things that
Aurora had learned from Regina about the ancient practice of
meditation, the answer was likely “yes.”
As Aurora saw how the baby and his family interacted and
formed a unit, she realized that his arrival didn’t constitute the
dramatic change one would have expected. In reality, the boy had
grown into this family over the last few months of Keza’s pregnancy.
The only thing that had changed was that he had now taken on a
physical form to occupy the place and role that had been made
available to him. No one would force his family to relinquish him to
some nursery at night. From birth or even before, he was integrated
into this little web of life that existed together and breathed together
and dreamed together. Aurora, as a friend and caregiver, stood at the
doorstep of this entity, not outside, but not entirely inside, either. A
sense of grave injustice arose in her: She had not been granted the
same rights when she was little, and she had not been able to grant her
daughter those rights, either. She was flooded with anger, and regret
threatened to overpower her. There was a void, a deficit, in the way
that human life arose on Mitis; it was so plain to see. And it was this
void that had wrecked the lives of too many, including that of her own
daughter. She was so overwhelmed by her feelings that she decided to
set up an appointment with Dr. Ruba to understand them better.
As always, Dr. Ruba was welcoming and accommodating, and
already the next morning, both met at the Camp some time before the
whole group would assemble.
Like everyone else in the Camp, Dr. Ruba already knew about
Keza’s baby and Aurora’s role in taking care of him. Aurora was aware
of this and therefore started the conversation without much ado: “I
am so frustrated and angry – I need to get it all out!”
“I can help with that; that’s what I am here for. Let’s ask our key
question again: What is your regret?”
“I … I,” Aurora stammered.
“Let it out. SHOUT IT OUT! So everyone hears the injustice
you caused or the injustice that was done to you.”
280
“I CAN’T GIVE LIFE!”
Dr. Ruba looked at her with a fake or honest surprise. It was hard
to tell. “That is strange. I thought you had a daughter?”
“Yes, YES – but she was created in the lab.”
“Based on your genes and your egg, though.”
“It is not the same,” Aurora protested, and she retold in vivid
terms how Keza had given birth to the life that had grown inside her
own body. Dr. Ruba waved his head slowly as if pondering something
before he replied:
“I can see you are frustrated because you cannot have this unique
experience. But you’re also angry – at whom?”
“The Sisters – our forebears – the people involved in messing with
our genome.”
“Because they took that away from you.”
“Exactly!”
Now he stared at her and frowned: “I think you’re romanticizing
a deeply flawed and unreliable biological process. You watched it. You
saw the pain. You noticed how nervous everyone was when things got
off track just a little. Do you know how many women died during
childbirth before modernity?”
Aurora was surprised by this question and shocked by its
bluntness. She shook her head silently.
“Lifelong chances of dying during childbirth were around five
percent. One in twenty. Therefore, biological childbirth doesn’t sound
like a great process to me.”
“Well, with modern medicine…”
“Yes, I know. It got much better. But you can’t give it a nod
when humans fudge with the process to make it a little better and then
shake your head when they go all the way and replace the whole damn
thing by something far superior.”
Now Aurora slowly shook her head and stared at Dr. Ruba:
“What kind of shrink are you? You are supposed to listen to my
feelings and interrogate me gently so I can come to my own
conclusions.”
“I don’t know where you’ve read that, Aurora. And really, I don’t
care. Your thinking is so warped – if I took that slow route, if I just
listened to your nonsense and didn’t say anything, we would still be
sitting here two years from now!“